Life's Difficulties

Really I don't know what to say about what has happened to us. I've been thinking about what to write as we drove across New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, back to our home. One important thing is - thank you all for the emails, texts, cards, phone calls, donations, etc. Eric very much appreciates it all and is thankful to have a great network of family and friends and coworkers in his life.



Losing a mother has to be one of the hardest things in the world. I've always been terrible at verbalizing condolences, so I'm just trying to keep it together and just be a comfort for Eric at this point because there is nothing I can say to make the pain go away. Or make him not be so sad to leave his father today after the worst three weeks of their lives.



But it's hard because even though she wasn't officially my mother-in-law, I loved her, and saw her as that. And even more so, I was excited for the day she would be the grandmother to our kids. So I am right there feeling the pain and the sadness too, trying to keep it together for Eric.



We spent time looking through old pictures, having laughs at what she used to do, say, or the look she gave. We've celebrated her life. And we know she's having a ball where she's at, peering down at us saying, "shit happens, get over it" in her jokingly deep, sarcastic voice. But the suddenness of her passing makes it difficult.



I've read Cindy's blog (Eric's sis in law - the Letter's to Afghanistan blog) and it made me bawl like a baby. She's a terrific writer, and had the words to write. But this has been so difficult on Eric, his dad, his brothers, his sister, everyone that Ellen Doust touched, that really, I just don't know what to say.